


Only malice and contempt for you

by error504 (divhtml)



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, also has adonis route spoilers for collar x malice unlimited, idk man i get embarrassed when i have to write tags for explicit fics, spoilers for cxm, they fuck, what more do you want me to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divhtml/pseuds/error504
Summary: Ichika delivers her weekly report about the enforcers to Zero.
Relationships: Hoshino Ichika/Zero
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Only malice and contempt for you

“Zero, I’m here for my weekly report.” I knocked on the steel iron entrance of the cathedral once, before letting myself into the inner sanctum of the Adonis hideout.

If I had to be honest, this cathedral was impressive. It was entirely underground, candle lamps illuminating the intricate marble arches, which only added to the eerie, cultish environment of this place. This was the reverent, holy ground from which Adonis was born and only a select few members were granted access into this hallowed place. Me, a new recruit, being allowed an audience with Zero caused a few people within the organization to feel envy, but nobody dared to act out against His wishes. Well, it didn’t matter what they thought anyway. I was here to update Zero about the top-secret mission he personally tasked to me.

He was waiting for me, lazily leaning against the central altar at the front of the room, arms coolly crossed over his chest. He threw me a rueful smile. “I’ve been expecting you. How has the investigation into the enforcers been? What are your findings?”

I furrowed my brow and laid the report I prepared for him on the altar. “So far in my investigation, none of them harbour a strong conviction to revolt against us. Even though they might be conflicted, you would need a certain level of stamina to betray an organization that is as large as Adonis, and all the enforcers lack that kind of will to oppose us.”

Zero looked away from my gaze. “None of them, huh? That’s strange. I guess they’ve all given up. They truly don’t have the will to resist anymore. What are they even fighting for, I wonder…” He trailed off.

Silence.

I softly spoke. “You knew none of them would betray us.”

He softly smiled to himself, as if he was already expecting this outcome. I continued.

“You knew the Judas would be me.”

He smiled even further.

“So then- So then why did you send me to do this asinine mission? Why did you-“

“Because.” He cut me off and slowly walked towards me. “I wanted you to remember. You must have felt some of your humanity coming back when you talked to them. It hurts me seeing you like this, you know? Emotionless.” He gently grabbed my hand and raised it up to rest his face with my open palm. “I wanted you to look at me with your emotion filled eyes, be it hate or love. I wanted you to direct your passion to me, only to me.” He looked me directly in the eyes, a smile lilting so carefree on his face, and for a moment I was transported back, back to the past, before the X-day events.

Before the massacre of my friends and family.

_ Don’t look at me like that! _ I mentally screamed.  _ Don’t remind me! Don’t remind me of who you used to be! _

I wanted him to stop. I wanted to stop remembering. I wanted to stop feeling things like love and loss. They were all useless to me. I tossed all unnecessary feelings like that when I joined Adonis.

So then why did my heart feel overwhelmed like this?

I slammed Yuzuru -no, Zero- against the wall and kissed him. Hard.

I’m not really sure why I did that. Maybe it was to swipe that smile from his face. Anything to remove that smile that once belonged to the Yuzuru Saeki I knew.

He didn’t relent though. He was surprised at first ( _ “Good,” I thought. _ ) but submitted under my force. I broke away, and I saw his golden eyes peeking behind hooded eyelids.

“Hey.” He paused. “Would you do anything for me if I ordered you to?”

“I am Zero’s disciple. I will follow his ideals to the end.”

“Then,” He said hotly. “Allow me do this.”

He flipped our positions, the space once between us now non-existent, and pressed me into the cool stone cathedral wall, kisses sloppy and hot and wet. He was kissing me ferociously, but was also restrained in his passion as to be considerate, only soothing me so he could torture me again. I hated it. I hated it completely. If he was going to attack me like this, I wished that he would do so in a manner that would leave me in no doubt but to hate this filthy act.

I weaved my fingers roughly through his hair, nails scraping into his scalp, and pulled. He gasped, his chin jerking up, and I took this opening to attack his neck. All the abuse I gave to his skin - the biting, the scratching - he relished the pain like it was the meaning behind his existence. The reason for him living.

“You know…” he begins, “you always say that you wear clothing that’s easier for you to move in during combat exercises, but don’t you think that showing this much skin is also detrimental? I mean, this crop top is hardly any protection, your chest is completely exposed… What would happen if a bullet hit you here?” He leaned down to kiss my open chest, the place where my heart would be.

I shuddered. “Armour is too heavy for me to move in, and it’s not like wearing a simple t-shirt would protect me from a bullet or knife anyway.” Zero slid his fingers under my bra and exposed my breasts, sucking on my nipples that were now pert from the sudden exposure to the cold air. “I’d rather wear clothing that makes me comfortable.”

“Ah… What a boring response. I would have liked to hear you admit that you wore such revealing clothing to provoke me.”

He stroked my inner thigh, and his intimate caress rendered me unable to refute him. Hoisting my thigh up and hooking my leg over his arm, his fingers slid under the waistband of my underwear.

“You’re already this wet, huh? Could it be that you’re enjoying this?” he murmured. He slipped one, two fingers inside my cunt and stroked my velvety insides. “I know you’re trying to hold back; you can be as loud as you’d like. Nobody can hear us in here.”

_ Damn it _ . He figured out that I was trying desperately not to gasp. I didn’t want him to get the satisfaction of knowing I was aroused.

“Mmmm…. Still won’t admit it? Then I’ll have to try harder to get you to moan for me.” He curled his fingers inside me, stroking my sweet spot, and I cursed myself for allowing needy whimpers escape my pursed lips. 

“Good girl.” He hummed and my stomach churned. Hearing praise from  _ him _ of all people, was the last thing I wanted to hear.

He continued teasing me like this, fingers moving fast enough to generate heat in my body, but not fast enough to satisfy me. It left me craving for more. I was starting to lose strength in my legs, and had to reach around his chest in an attempt to regain my balance, fingernails digging into his back deep enough to almost break skin.

“Hey, Ichika.” He suddenly spoke up, whispering in my ear. “What will you do when you kill me? You have nothing left in your life except for your hatred for me. When you finally finish what you came here to do, what will you do then?”

“I will- I will end it all.” I gasped, trying to explain myself, but with every time he plunged his fingers into my wet spot, my head kept getting more and more messed up. “You, me and Adonis. I will destroy it all. That’s the only outcome for the both of us.”

Once more, he looked at me ruefully. “That’s too bad. I would have liked to see you alive after all this.” 

“You took that desire away from me when Kazuki died. I have nothing left in me, no will to live. Only malice and contempt for you.”

He smirked, so very self-serving and so very self-satisfied, as if the response I gave him was the correct one.

“I love you lchika, so very, very much. Can’t you see?” Once more, he devoured my tongue with his kiss, taking my breath away just like he took away everything from my life. “I’m simply intoxicated by you. Even when you’re mad at me, I still love it. I love everything about you, your love and hate. I love it. I love it so much. I love you.” 

He undressed both of our lower halves, allowing both of our pants to drop to the floor of the cathedral in a crumpled mess. Entwining his fingers between mine and pinning one of my arms above me, he moved his dick in between the folds of my pussy, teasing me so badly that all I could do was to writhe and squirm under his grip.

I couldn’t take this anymore.

“Just hurry up and fuck me already.”

He chuckled. “No complaints there.” And then his dick pierced into me, his hard cock filling my hole, slowly pressing into me as he sheathed himself fully.

“So fucking tight…. I can’t hold back. I can’t be gentle like before.” He groaned hoarsely. “I’ve wanted to do you so badly.”

Yes. Good. That was what I wanted. Don’t be gentle with me. Be the monster I know you are.

He pounded into me like an animal, sinking himself to the hilt with every thrust, pressing further and further inside me, as I felt the edges of myself slowly unravel before him.

“I order… I order you to say my name. Say my name while I’m fucking you.”

“Zero.”

“Not that one.”

“Yuzuru.“ I rasped. “Yuzuru..”

“Keep saying it until I tell you to stop.”

My mind was getting numb from the pleasure. I started to tear up.

Yuzuru.

Yuzuru.

Yuzuru.

I was being brainwashed. His blackened fingerprints stained my wounded heart.

“Do you feel good here? Or here? Or maybe- here.” My mind broke completely into pieces at his new angle, legs shaking, surrendering as I relied on him completely to support my body.   
“Ah, it’s here. Haha, I did say that nobody could hear us in here, but if you moan that loudly even the soundproofing in here won’t work.”

I felt everything that I had suppressed and locked away for the past two days. Pain, pleasure, anger, hope, despair and love. Everything swirling into a climax. It’s suffocating. It hurts. It’s pure bliss. He keeps pushing me deeper and deeper. I can’t breathe. I have nowhere to run. I didn’t know it was possible to fall further from grace than I already had, but I’ve sunk to new depths. Dignity was just another emotion I had to shed away from myself.

“Come.” He moaned. “Come together, with me.”

I cry out wantonly.

We spilled into each other, my toes curling from the intense pleasure. I could feel Yuzuru’s wet cum leaking against my cervix, my walls spasming and squeezing, enveloping around him. He languidly thrusted into me, dragging the walls of my aching cunt to ensure he fully finished inside before resting. Our breaths intermingled together, and gradually I felt his dick soften inside me.

“Stay with me like this for a while. I don’t want any of it spilling out.” He breathed into my nape.

  
We stayed, joined like this for what felt like an eternity.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! sorry for cutting the fic short like that. I really am not much of a writer and the amount of fics i've written can be counted on one hand, but i really wanted to get my feelings sorted. this piece was born from the shower thoughts i had, because i recently finished binge playing collar x malice unlimited and i just- i just couldn't stop thinking about zero.... like what the FUCK was his deal.. what the hell was his motivations... if he really wanted his x-day plans to succeed, why would he take steps that were actively detrimental to his plans.. why did he practically let ichika run around in the adonis base... and after taking that shower i immediately wanted to jot down my thoughts because they were fresh in my mind. Honestly was just expecting to write a couple paragraphs and share them on my private twitter account, but by the time i was starting my third pages i went "ah... there's no feasible way i can post this neatly to twitter" and brushed off the dust off ye olde a03 account. Sorry if its not very porn-y or metaphorical for your tastes, i think i just wanted to get my thoughts about the motivations and thoughts behind ichika and zero, but i had to make it a bit horny because ya cant really deny that there was some sexual tension between them in the adonis route (wags my finger)  
> shout out to hassan for beta'ing my fic. i think you deserve financial compensation for me forcing you read my shitty smutty heterosexual fic. you're a real one.  
> anyway this note is super long and its 4am rn so i'll sign off. see ya!


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